words of wisdom

the moment i think of 'WHAT IF' might just be the moment when i stop living in the present and wish for something that i don't deserve

YOU

you care too much
i'm just afraid i can't give back

you love too much
i'm just afraid what i offer isn't as much

your thoughtfulness and protectiveness know no limit
while mine, there's always walls and borders

teach me always
guide me forward
for i am imperfect, just being me

happy me

i want to be like this
ALWAYS

sick..

the thing i hate most whenever i travel is getting sick
i still remember that time when i was in japan, i got sick
it was just an 11days vacation, so every second counts
but then again,we've been travelling A LOT..from north to south and vice versa
whats with the super cold as low as -6 degrees and sometimes a tad warm


so i end up like this
red nose, dizzy, and of course cranky and easily annoyed at things
but i couldn't care less about it
tried to make everything counts so i just got up and do it like nothing happens
like i'm all well and healthy
and it works!
yay
but after that short vacation, i fell sick for almost a week
blame the weather...grrr
thank god i was in malaysia by that time
but that's me,always trying to put up a good front in front of everyone

I MISS YOU

i've said these words countless times today
and to different people too

..i miss u..

once i said it,makes me misses them 1000x more
distance does make me suffer
makes me become this vulnerable,fragile person that i never knew i could be
but in a way
it keeps me closer to those important to me
it makes me realize that they are people out there who care and think about me as much as i did for them

my muse

SHE IS............
my pillar
my strength
my backbone
my moral support
my banker
my financial advisor
my personal counselor
my tailor
my cook
my source of laughter
and the one who wipes my tears away
she was, is and will always be
my muse
my everything


and the best part of it is
she is my
EMAK

*thanks for putting up with all my nonsense esp for these past few weeks*

Entry #01

i've always heard this..
a picture speaks a thousand words..
so i am gonna start this..
A PICTURE A DAY
pictures taken from my past and present..
just to reminisce what i've done, remembering back those wonderful/bad times..
just to get to know of myself...=))

very first picture would be..


came across this pic today...
it was taken during my first year in sydney..should be on autumn 08...when i look back at this, i LOL at that big collar..i was like, "woah, why did i wear that"...and wif sneakers too...haha no fashion sense at all eh..but one thing for sure,that long coat is super comfy..knitted maaa...and yes it made me look slimmer...no wonder i wear it..=P
i think i passed it down to a junior before i went back coz i obviously can't wear it here...one thing i LOVE about being overseas is the fact that i can wear those thick clothing and always keep my hands in the pocket when it's cold..i obviously prefer cold weather =)))

lovey dovey 101

i always thought i would be the 'jiwang' one when i'm in a relationship..turns out i was the exact opposite..honestly,don't know why but i'm a bit shy to act all lovey dovey..unless there's some kind of monsoon or hormonal attack influenced me...heheh

but he on the other hand...=))))
his favourite questions would be...
sayang saye x?
how much?
arini sayang x?

him: do u love me?
me: hmmm...
him: so..i take it as NO....
me: hmmm...yess
him: yess??? what??
me: alaaaa..ngade2
him: say it..
me: yes, love u...
him: hehe just asking, tho i know the answer..=P


my very own emo-inducer...
not sure if the word inducer is even correctly use..just came up with that the other day..hahahha....
why emo-inducer? go figure..
obviously coz he always makes me emo most of the time
thank God, he knows how to comfort me too..=P

a very SAD saturday T__T

it was a crazy saturday
was hoping to go to KL *just because of you-know-who* but i couldn't
was intending to make a progress on my 4AK's literature lesson but the students didn't focus
was supposed to go on with the drama practice but the students went back early
in short, everything went wrong that day
indeed a SAD-day


started the day happily, hoping for it to be a good day
but slowly it took a turn *a bad turn*
called my mom around 9.30am and asked for permission..
she almost said yes but after i talked to dad, he strictly said no
nothing i said can change his mind
so it was basically a straight NO from him

after that i went into class...and the boys made me angry
i ranted like a bitch, i talked loud like i was teaching kindergartners..
but the boys just chatted with their friends...
i was already in a bad mood after what they did i just can't take it..
i stormed off right after my time ended and i don't even know if they realized how angry i was

then i went for drama practice *after i sent some kids to the stadium for band practice*
only half was there, and most of them were restless, waiting for the bell..
i was like "hell, if i can make time for this, why can't them?"
if i can sacrifice my time, if i can put off my rest, if i can go out and get back to school and wait some more until THEY finally have time for practice
WHY CAN'T THEM

after that i ranted about my day to the other teacher
she's also a new teacher so basically she understands me and knows how i feel
then i went straight home..can't think of anything
i don't even how i'm feeling that time
i was being indifferent
so i slept the afternoon off
woke up at 6.00 pm
took a shower and waited for the maghrib prayers
then at 7.30 i went to Giant
made a short stop for each-a-cup
on the move again for Jusco Tebrau

arrived at Jusco Tebrau and was supposed to look for dinner, a belt and grammar book
but i ended up going shopping
managed to buy 2 shirts, 2 blouses, 1 belt, some food
spent more than i should
but who cares??
i just needed to release all this stress inside
needed to do something that i like and not because someone told me to

while i was shopping, i received a call from emak, asking me how i was
i was mad, i shouldn't, but i did
poor emak, she almost cried because she was too worried about me
well, after dad said no.. i didn't call her
and when she called earlier i talked nonchalantly and sort of refused to talk to her
after that call, i regretted what i did
said sorry and promised that i'll be allright and will be home early
talk a bit more with mom and we were in good terms again in no time
felt good afterwards

and yes got a short lecture from him later that night
well what i did to emak was definitely wrong
he tried to make me feel better, and he succeed
he made awkward and sometimes-not-so-funny-joke but i laughed
we had a good,comforting talk for quite some time
and i slowly started to think back about everything that happened

not everything will go as we planned
but that's where it gets interesting
UNPLANNED , SPONTANEITY
that's makes life fun and gives us something to look forward to
i should always tell myself that
so i will!!!

life may not go as we want
but enjoy the moment
seize the day
CARPE DIEM

william and kate

okkkkkayyyyy, this is definitely wedding of the year...huh of the decade maybe since they are after all the British Royals....
but seriously i have nothing bad against them...they may have been through ups and downs but then again, who doesn't???
he's so charming and good looking *but he may look a bit too old for his own age*
and she's so beautiful..with those catwalk-body and superb dresses...just love her

so just hoping for the best for both of them
they've been through a lot and let them have their own 'forever ever after'
may God bless the king..hehehe

MH project is on bebeyh!!!

since I'm quite free this week...
i'm thinking of starting my very own project
*nope, it has nothing to do with work, PPGB, or whatever serious shit that I need to deal with at work*
hehehe would like to call it my "MH Project"
nothing big but very personal to me..
dedicated to none other than...haha some-may-know-who =P

just a teaser...


hopefully it will finish on time considering all those things that I have to handle at work and yes of course my very own life *that needs extra attention from me =S*

that's it then..officially starts yesterday and the dateline would be on 25th May 2011
go go bayah!!!

pibg meeting is so BORING!!!

on one lovely supposed-to-be-my-off-day saturday, we teachers were forced to attend school for the ever-so-lovely PIBG meeting...since it was such an informative meeting,cool and awesome i end up like this at 9.00am

thanks to my dearest fren, Sha who was too preoccupied with her new phone that she left me all alone listening to the stupid speech, she managed to take a pic of this very appropriate in-a-school-event pose...thank god no teachers saw me in this state or else i would have lost my awesome-image..=P

and now that i'm wide awake, it's camwhore session...juz like school kids, we chose the last row seats..haha easy-and-super-fast access to the exit, no students will see my tido-pose and yes, such a good place for self-cam time...thank god the meeting ended at 1.00pm...grabbed a cornetto mcflurry and went straight home...zzzZZzzz~~~

pasir gudang oh pasir gudang...

been here for quite some times..almost a month, even received our first paycheck *but no allowance T__T*..so far, my never0ending-workload, sadness and tension outweigh the happiness and laughter i had since been posted here...but then again, need to be thankful as my loved ones *almost all* have set foot here just to show that they care and love me so much.....

first, of course my beloved mom and dad..on our briefing day, they sent me all the way to pasir gudang, clean my house and of course tidy it up as well..well i'm obviously 24 but mom and dad still did all that to me..they even stayed til 11pm..well mom would love to sleep at my place but yeah if they had stayed, i would definitely force them to wait till i'm done with work on the next day...poor folks, dah tue pon kene layan anak manja cmni... but me <3 them so much!!! then, of course nana would come and her will-be-hubby-very-soon..hehe my so-called-twin-sister and amad..tho i may not be the real reason for her staying, it meant a lot..planned on staying for a night but just for her lil sis, she stayed for 2 nights and dropped me of at work..spent our sleepover talking till late and night, and not forgetting our ustaz amirul session...hehe do come here more often....

pesta layang-layang..my other sis, yaty used this reason to come..but i would rather put myself as the real reason for her presence in PG..and of course with her little bundle of joy our dearie raihan and her super awesome maktuk and atuk..oh my god, atuk was really enjoying his time at pesta layang2...he was the most excited one and tho there was hardly enough wind to fly the kite, he still played with it..we had to actually fake tiredness *not really* just to make him stop playing...spent the night at dorsett hotel..nice one and yes, fighting time over dinner and choosing the place to eat...on the next day, stopped by at singgah selalu and had our sumptuous lunch...then of course, they left..










and yes, mak bee even got the time to tease dear raihan..hehehe *evil laugh*


last but not least, my beloved mr caring..well he's definitely the latest edition to my very own circle of people-i-love-most-in-my-life...he came here yesterday..got on the bus around 8.30am from kl, arrived here at 1.30pm...then left PG on the last bus at 11.30pm and was back in kl around 6am...my oh my, well what's more can i ask for rite...he's more than willing to come here to see me and yes, help release all my tension away *kelas tambahan on hols is definitely not fun weh*...spent time at City Square and just lazy-ing around makan2...realized how much i miss him tho we've only been apart for lil more than a month...watched a movie together *since we kept whining about how we haven't watch a movie together*..towards the end of the night, started feeling sad and talking less..and he realized it..at first, i can see his surprise since i rarely keep quiet and always talk a lot...but yeah, we had such an awesome time yesterday tho both of us were quite tired...really appreciate him coming here for me and i'm already looking forward for his future visit here....


well, i finally have some sweet and beautiful memories with my loved ones here in PG..shud be happier and think less of other shits that might happen later in the future...and yes, of course i'm expecting more visits from these people here namely my eldest sis kak rin and family and lil sis, adik..hehe they shud come and make me laugh....so that i won't think too much of my work..teacher bahiah needs some love here...weeee~~~

@JOHOR

oh yeah...the school placement for us humble teachers is out
and guess what???
I got sent back to home sweet home.....*cue drum rolls*....
JOHOR!!!!!!

hehehe am really hoping to be posted to muar...
to be exact...to that not-so-far-only-few-minutes-drive-school....
reasons?
1. Close to home
*easier for any sort of trouble since i'm a bit clumsy sometimes, leaving stuff at home*
2. Close to someone i know
one of my school friends, mariam is currently a teacher there and she just started this year..there's no harm in having our own friend *someone we knew* right...
3. Save money...
*we need that for stationary and photocopying worksheets ok...hehe don't wanna ruin my life-plan which includes getting my own car in like 2012 or maybe getting h****ed on 2013...weee and yeah, just because i wanna hear some ka-ching*

more reasons can be listed out but everything is in God's hand...I can only plan, but He already has set out the journey for me...just hope that everything will start off well, with no trouble *or getting depressed to early*.....insyaAllah I'll be a good teacher...bringing out the best in me...

Sam Tsui..latest sensation..

SAM TSUI

i've heard of this name for quite some time..
but finally i got to know him *google can do wonder..=P*
so is he like the new and the latest sensation nowadays??
he got looks *the boy next door kins of guy and a bit gay-ish to me*, cute smile, splendid voice, and also brain *he's in Yale*...
when i watched his "Firework & Grenade mashup", I did lol a bit cause he looks like he's gonna explode and jump off from that chair anytime...the veins on his neck look like it's gonna pop up and he surely look like he's about to die...but i love his voice..superb!!! just give him any songs, i think he would nail it...


first saw him on my friends' FB and blog...
then start youtube-ing him and listen to his songs...
mostly covers of famous songs...but seriously it's worth listening and sometimes better than the original cover..hehehhe
so he's Chinese American...
i've always have soft spot for English speaking asian guys..i find them hot that way..especially those without the accent...heheh

basically, i'm just into his work now and i'm sooooo going to download his songs *covers, mashup, etc...though sometimes the mashup piece might give me a headache*