happy me

i want to be like this
ALWAYS

sick..

the thing i hate most whenever i travel is getting sick
i still remember that time when i was in japan, i got sick
it was just an 11days vacation, so every second counts
but then again,we've been travelling A LOT..from north to south and vice versa
whats with the super cold as low as -6 degrees and sometimes a tad warm


so i end up like this
red nose, dizzy, and of course cranky and easily annoyed at things
but i couldn't care less about it
tried to make everything counts so i just got up and do it like nothing happens
like i'm all well and healthy
and it works!
yay
but after that short vacation, i fell sick for almost a week
blame the weather...grrr
thank god i was in malaysia by that time
but that's me,always trying to put up a good front in front of everyone

I MISS YOU

i've said these words countless times today
and to different people too

..i miss u..

once i said it,makes me misses them 1000x more
distance does make me suffer
makes me become this vulnerable,fragile person that i never knew i could be
but in a way
it keeps me closer to those important to me
it makes me realize that they are people out there who care and think about me as much as i did for them

my muse

SHE IS............
my pillar
my strength
my backbone
my moral support
my banker
my financial advisor
my personal counselor
my tailor
my cook
my source of laughter
and the one who wipes my tears away
she was, is and will always be
my muse
my everything


and the best part of it is
she is my
EMAK

*thanks for putting up with all my nonsense esp for these past few weeks*

Entry #01

i've always heard this..
a picture speaks a thousand words..
so i am gonna start this..
A PICTURE A DAY
pictures taken from my past and present..
just to reminisce what i've done, remembering back those wonderful/bad times..
just to get to know of myself...=))

very first picture would be..


came across this pic today...
it was taken during my first year in sydney..should be on autumn 08...when i look back at this, i LOL at that big collar..i was like, "woah, why did i wear that"...and wif sneakers too...haha no fashion sense at all eh..but one thing for sure,that long coat is super comfy..knitted maaa...and yes it made me look slimmer...no wonder i wear it..=P
i think i passed it down to a junior before i went back coz i obviously can't wear it here...one thing i LOVE about being overseas is the fact that i can wear those thick clothing and always keep my hands in the pocket when it's cold..i obviously prefer cold weather =)))

lovey dovey 101

i always thought i would be the 'jiwang' one when i'm in a relationship..turns out i was the exact opposite..honestly,don't know why but i'm a bit shy to act all lovey dovey..unless there's some kind of monsoon or hormonal attack influenced me...heheh

but he on the other hand...=))))
his favourite questions would be...
sayang saye x?
how much?
arini sayang x?

him: do u love me?
me: hmmm...
him: so..i take it as NO....
me: hmmm...yess
him: yess??? what??
me: alaaaa..ngade2
him: say it..
me: yes, love u...
him: hehe just asking, tho i know the answer..=P


my very own emo-inducer...
not sure if the word inducer is even correctly use..just came up with that the other day..hahahha....
why emo-inducer? go figure..
obviously coz he always makes me emo most of the time
thank God, he knows how to comfort me too..=P

a very SAD saturday T__T

it was a crazy saturday
was hoping to go to KL *just because of you-know-who* but i couldn't
was intending to make a progress on my 4AK's literature lesson but the students didn't focus
was supposed to go on with the drama practice but the students went back early
in short, everything went wrong that day
indeed a SAD-day


started the day happily, hoping for it to be a good day
but slowly it took a turn *a bad turn*
called my mom around 9.30am and asked for permission..
she almost said yes but after i talked to dad, he strictly said no
nothing i said can change his mind
so it was basically a straight NO from him

after that i went into class...and the boys made me angry
i ranted like a bitch, i talked loud like i was teaching kindergartners..
but the boys just chatted with their friends...
i was already in a bad mood after what they did i just can't take it..
i stormed off right after my time ended and i don't even know if they realized how angry i was

then i went for drama practice *after i sent some kids to the stadium for band practice*
only half was there, and most of them were restless, waiting for the bell..
i was like "hell, if i can make time for this, why can't them?"
if i can sacrifice my time, if i can put off my rest, if i can go out and get back to school and wait some more until THEY finally have time for practice
WHY CAN'T THEM

after that i ranted about my day to the other teacher
she's also a new teacher so basically she understands me and knows how i feel
then i went straight home..can't think of anything
i don't even how i'm feeling that time
i was being indifferent
so i slept the afternoon off
woke up at 6.00 pm
took a shower and waited for the maghrib prayers
then at 7.30 i went to Giant
made a short stop for each-a-cup
on the move again for Jusco Tebrau

arrived at Jusco Tebrau and was supposed to look for dinner, a belt and grammar book
but i ended up going shopping
managed to buy 2 shirts, 2 blouses, 1 belt, some food
spent more than i should
but who cares??
i just needed to release all this stress inside
needed to do something that i like and not because someone told me to

while i was shopping, i received a call from emak, asking me how i was
i was mad, i shouldn't, but i did
poor emak, she almost cried because she was too worried about me
well, after dad said no.. i didn't call her
and when she called earlier i talked nonchalantly and sort of refused to talk to her
after that call, i regretted what i did
said sorry and promised that i'll be allright and will be home early
talk a bit more with mom and we were in good terms again in no time
felt good afterwards

and yes got a short lecture from him later that night
well what i did to emak was definitely wrong
he tried to make me feel better, and he succeed
he made awkward and sometimes-not-so-funny-joke but i laughed
we had a good,comforting talk for quite some time
and i slowly started to think back about everything that happened

not everything will go as we planned
but that's where it gets interesting
UNPLANNED , SPONTANEITY
that's makes life fun and gives us something to look forward to
i should always tell myself that
so i will!!!

life may not go as we want
but enjoy the moment
seize the day
CARPE DIEM